Julia Lee is a Senior Associate in the Knights Family Team based in Birmingham.
Talk of Christmas is upon us again and amidst all the excitement, navigating the festivities as a separated or divorced parent can pose huge challenges.
I have assisted many parents at this time of year in trying to reach a suitable agreement as to how their children will spend the Christmas period.
Here are my top tips to try and alleviate some of the stress and challenges faced.
Communicate and make a plan early
Ideally discussions should start several weeks before Christmas to allow time to agree a suitable schedule for the children. You should make plans with wider family to reduce the chance of any last minute dispute or panic.
Be child focused
It’s important to think about what will make Christmas most enjoyable for your children as it’s likely that emotions may be running high - particularly if this is the first Christmas after the separation.
It is generally best to avoid involving the children in decision making to shield them from any hostilities with the co-parent. Relationships may be strained but be mindful of what the children can overhear and keep handovers positive. Their needs should be the priority.
Avoid competitive gifting
It’s often important to try and agree a budget with your co-parent in the run up to Christmas – primarily to reduce and remove any feeling of competition.
If your children still believe in Father Christmas, organise who will buy what from their list to avoid any duplicate gifts.
Joint gifts can also be a good option.
Confirm your plans in writing
it isn’t always necessary to have a formal court order, but putting any agreements reached in writing between you can help to avoid any miscommunications.
Forward think to avoid repeated stress
Can the arrangements made this year be replicated next year? Depending on the plans, it may be necessary to alternate the set up to be fair to both parents.
You should be open to talking about what went well and what, if anything, may need to be changed moving forwards. As with all these points, your child’s needs should be prioritised and the main focus.