A lawyer at Knights believes we could see a more efficient court system with more ‘good divorces.’
Karen Johnson, a Senior Associate within the regional legal and professional services business’ family team, has been sharing her advice as part of Good Divorce Week – an initiative focused on minimising conflict for separating couples.
She says ‘good’ is not really a term you associate with divorce:
“Divorce and separation are sadly something that many people go through and represents an extremely difficult and unpleasant period of their lives – impacting not only themselves, but their children and wider family too.
“Good Divorce Week, which is spearheaded by Resolution, is about highlighting the way in which couples can approach this difficult time in a better way – one which puts the interests of children first and reduces conflict and confrontation whilst ensuring couples understand how they can manage the potential long-term financial and emotional consequences of the decisions they’ve made.
“The divorce process itself is straightforward and has been made a lot simpler by the introduction of no-fault divorces – something that has certainly helped reduce conflict.
“The challenges, however, generally come with the other issues that arise – whether that’s who the children are going to live with or how the finances are going to be addressed. An uncertain future, combined with unhealthy competition and the grieving caused by a relationship breakdown make these issues difficult to navigate.
“If approached in the right way, the benefits of a ‘good divorce’ in a non-confrontational setting could lead to reduced legal costs, a quicker resolution, less stress and a better future relationship – not just for you, but any children involved too.
“There are several options available to help couples set their own agenda when it comes to resolving issues outside of court. The likes of mediation, arbitration and solicitor aided negotiations are just some of the routes that can assist in achieving a ‘good divorce.’
“With the family courts at breaking point across the country, the expectation will be that couples do all they can to achieve a ‘good divorce’ but not all these options are suitable or possible – with a court date sometimes being the necessary next step towards a fair outcome.
“We, as family law professionals, must ensure we help clients identify the right disputes resolution options for their circumstances and to make use of non-court options to ensure the best outcome for all involved. Couples can have the advice and support they need to resolve the issues that arise quickly, amicably and with lower costs. An increase in ‘good divorces’ will see the courts becoming less stretched, more efficient and better able to assist.”
Karen’s Top 5 tips for achieving a ‘good divorce’
1 - Instruct a suitable family lawyer.
Getting early legal advice is crucial - it helps people to understand the full range of options that are available and allows relevant advice to be given. There is so much misinformation so, with every situation unique, there really is no substitute for getting bespoke advice.
2 - Communicate constructively and respectfully.
Name calling, aggression, petty or spiteful behaviour will not help resolve issues and is likely to result in issues being more difficult to resolve as it erodes trust whilst impairing emotional ability to address negotiations or make decisions effectively.
3 - Be open and not dismissive.
Effective communication and negotiation is about hearing and being heard. Understanding why a particular view or concern is important to someone can allow practical solutions to be considered.
4 - Consider the non-court dispute resolution options.
Most issues can be resolved without having to step foot in a court room. Mediation, Solicitor Negotiation, the Collaborative Process, Neutral Evaluations and Arbitration all offer opportunities.
5 - Prioritise the needs of any children involved.
Ensure that consideration of a child’s welfare and needs are at the centre of every step that is taken. These proceedings are carried out in the understanding that a child can benefit from having both parents actively involved in their life – providing it’s safe. We also recognise that frequent, intense and poorly resolved conflict between parents can place children at risk of mental health issues, and behavioural, social and academic problems – impacting their long-term outcomes.